From Kathrynn to Kitten
by Russetfur1128
Summary: I had been a huge fan of Gravity Falls since it started back in 2012. With the upcoming episode, "Not What he Seems", airing later that day, my little sister and I decided to do a season 1 marathon. Boy was that a huge mistake.
1. PROLOGUE: How This Mess Began

PROLOGUE:

How This Mess Began

I put the DVD in the player and glanced over at my younger sister. "Gravity Falls season 1 marathon!" we both shouted.

My sister, Kassidy, and I were rewatching season one of our favorite show, _Gravity Falls_, because the newest episode of the second season aired later that day.

I pushed **PLAY** on the remote and we watched the first few episodes. We continued on to my personal favorite, _Dreamscaperers_. That was when it got weird.

First Kassidy started to laugh. Then everything seemed to slow down, kinda like it did when Gideon summoned Bill. I was seriously starting to get creeped out. Suddenly, Bill Cipher appeared **RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME**!

"Hello, Kitty," he said to me. "I see that you like my show!"

I glared at him, for two reasons. The first being that I hate the nickname my dad gave me; the second being that Gravity Falls is NOT HIS show.

"It's not YOUR show, Bill!" I snapped at him "May I remind you that you have only been in two episodes so far!"

"Ahh..." he twirled his cane, which had just appeared out of nowhere. "Those little details..." he trailed off. "Have you not noticed that inkblot on the page of that book that Pine Tree carries everywhere?" he asked me, circling me. "Have you never noticed that I am the one on the attic's window?"

He was really beginning to get on my nerves. No, scratch that, he was really pushing his boundaries; he was WAY past getting on my nerves.

"I know, I know," I said, impatiently "Why are you even here?" I asked, suspicious. "You're not even supposed to exist!"

He laughed. "Oh, really!" he said "If I don't exist, how am I here in front of you?" he asked.

I will admit, he did have a point.

"Anyways," Bill continued "I'm not here to make small talk," he started to twirl his cane again. "I'm here to make a deal with ya, kid!"

I narrowed my eyes. I knew how dangerous a deal with Bill could be. "What's your offer, and what's the catch?" I ask him.

He laughs. "My offer? I'm willing to let you have a little fun with your friends here," he said, tapping the TV screen.

I raised an eyebrow. "And the catch?"

Bill crossed his arms. "Look Kitty-"

"Don't call me that!" I shouted, cutting him off.

"Fine, fine," he said, acting hurt "Kid, I am offering you a chance of a lifetime, I mean seriously, the only reason that I am doing this is because I have seen what a huge fan you are!" He stared at me "So, do we have a deal?"

I knew I would most likely regret it later, but I uncrossed my arms and took Bill's hand. "Fine, whatever," I said "You have a deal."

Bill started to laugh maniacally and the world faded to black.

_ Time seemed to rewind on itself and a red-haired girl faded from the pictures that were framed in the hallway. Everything went back to how it was before, except it was like Kathrynn never existed._


	2. CHAPTER 1: Well This is Just Great

CHAPTER ONE:

Well This is Just Great...

I opened my eyes and looked around me.

I grinned; I was actually in Gravity Falls! I recognized Greasy's Diner and realized that I was starving. I tried to stand up, only to fall back down.

I heard a horn behind me and I clumsily turned around. I gasped and scrambled out of the way of the approaching bus. I tripped over a rock and landed in a very awkward position.

I noticed something orange in my face. Assuming that it was just my long hair getting in my face as always, I raised a hand to tuck it behind my ear. Only, it wasn't a hand.

I paused, seeing a small orange paw pass in front of my face. I scrambled to my feet... er... paws and examined myself. I swore under my breath. I knew I shouldn't have trusted Bill.

**"Well short chapter this time around! I promise that I will do longer ones!**


	3. CHAPTER 2: 'Mabel' This Will be Okay?

**Me: So yeah... I am now a tiny, adorable, fluffy orange kitten. What fun... I guess I'll be hearing that dumb nickname a whole lot now that I'm-**

**Mabel: *Grabs me* OHMYGOSHYOUARESOCUTE! 3**

**Me: SOMEBODY HELP ME!**

CHAPTER TWO:

'Mabel' This Will be Okay?

Out of the corner of my eye I could see that my tail was flicking with annoyance. I hissed and slapped a paw on it, only to jump as my claws dug into it.

"Oh my gosh!"

I recognized Mabel's voice and turned around. Somehow, I had completely forgotten about the bus that had nearly run me over.

"Oh my gosh!" Mabel repeated "Dipper look!" she grabbed her brother's arm and pointed at me.

_ "Uh, oh,"_ I thought.

Mabel ran over to me and scooped me up as I attempted to run away.

I must say, walking on four paws instead of two feet is more difficult than you would imagine.

Mabel held me tightly and I knew I had no chance of escaping her grasp. I sighed in defeat and just let her carry me to where Wendy was waiting in a golf cart.

"Nice cat you got there," Wendy said, pointing at me.

"I know, right!" Mabel grinned. "Somebody left the poor thing at the side of the road!"

Wendy gave a small smile. "Well good thing you came here instead of, I don't know, Nevada?" she laughed.

"Yeah!" Mabel cheered, lifting me up. "I'm gonna name you..." she trailed off as she thought of a name.

"Oh, great," I thought "She's probably going to name me something like Fluffy."

Mabel had been quiet the whole ride to the Mystery Shack. Even after we arrived, she stayed in the golf cart, even though Wendy and Dipper were already halfway to the porch.

"Hey Mabel," Dipper said, jogging back over to the golf cart. "You okay?" he asked, looking concerned. 

Mabel didn't move or say anything at first. Then, all of a sudden she jumped to her feet yelling, "SNUGGLES!" She lost her balance and fell off the cart, doing a face-plant in the dirt. 

"Ow..." she said, still with her face on the ground.

When she had fallen, she had loosened her grip on me and I had been able to wriggle out of her hands. I was currently behind Dipper, watching the whole fiasco.

After Mabel had gotten to feet, she began spitting out mud and grit. 

Dipper picked me up and, much to my dismay, gave me back to Mabel. 

"So..." He said, staring at her "What was that all about?"

Mabel stared at him blankly. "What was what all about?" she asked. 

"Why did you just randomly shout out 'snuggles'?" he asked her. 

Mabel blinked. "Ohhhhh," she said, grinning. I had a bad feeling about this. 

"That's what I will name my kitten," Mabel explained.

I flattened my ears, but then stopped. I guess it's not as bad as Fluffy or some other crazy name she could have come up with.

**Me: Well, that's how my crazy adventure began! Now to get into the REAL action!**

**Mabel: Hey, Snuggles! Look what I have for you! *holds up a small sweater that matches hers***

**Me: Hmm... I DO like your sweaters, but I don't think I want to play dress-up right now.**

**Mabel: Too bad!**

**Me: ...go get help**


	4. CHAPTER 3: Tourist Trapped (Part 1)

**Me: I am back! (and I think Mabel has given up pursuit)**

**Mabel: NEVER!**

**Me: Oh great...**

CHAPTER THREE:

Tourist Trapped (Part 1)

I spent the next week shut in the attic. I had tried to explore once, but Mabel had seen me and scolded me, saying that I could've been hurt. She was extra careful to make sure the attic door was closed after that. I was just beginning to think that I'd never get to do anything fun, when Dipper came back into the attic and left the door open when he left.

I was creeping past Mabel when I heard her say, "He's looking at it! He's looking at it!" I remembered her saying that in the first episode and paused. I had planned on going exploring on my own, but I decided that I would stick around and experience the adventures that the twins had for myself.

I glanced at the boy who was holding Mabel's survey or whatever it was.

"Uh, do you like me?" he said as he read it "Yes. Definitely. Absolutely?" He looked up.

"I rigged it!" Mabel whispered and I laughed, but it came out as more of a squeak.

"Mabel, I know you're going through your whole 'Boy Crazy' phase," Dipper said as he cleaned the jar of eyeballs "but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the 'crazy' part."

"What?!" Mabel said. Then, almost as if it were a valid argument, she blew a raspberry at him. "Come on, Dipper!" she pleaded "This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!"

Dipper looked at her skeptically and I knew that he was thinking of her other attempts to get a boyfriend.

"Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer," Mabel said confidently "I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now!"

They looked towards the door and I knew what would happen. Sure enough, a few seconds later Grunkle Stan walked through it and burped.

"Oh! Oh, not good. Ow," He said, pounding on his chest.

Dipper laughed as Mabel said "Oh, Why!"

"All right, all right, look alive people," Grunkle Stan said "I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it!" Dipper quickly replied.

"Not it!" Mabel added.

"Uh, also not it," Soos added from atop a step ladder.

"Nobody asked you, Soos," Grunkle Stan said.

"I know," Soos said "and I'm comfortable with that." He then took a bite of a chocolate bar.

_ "Where did he even get that?"_ I thought.

"Wendy," Grunkle Stan said "I need you to put up this sign!"

"I would, but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh..." she said, as she absentmindedly groped at the air while continuing to read her magazine.

"I'd fire all of you if I could," Stan muttered "All right, let's make it... eenie, meenie, miney... you!" he said, pointing at Dipper.

"Aw, what?" Dipper muttered "Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched."

Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes. "Ugh, this again."

Dipper was getting impatient. "I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town," he said, persistently "Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out 'BEWARE'." Dipper held up his arm.

Grunkle Stan looked at it and scoffed. "That says 'BEWARB'," he said.

Dipper pulled his arm back and scratched at the bites.

"Look, kid. The whole 'monsters in the forest' thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that."

He motioned to a tourist who was laughing at a Stan-bobblehead as its head jiggled.

"So quit being so paranoid!" Stan gave Dipper the signs and he sighed.

Dipper walked out of the Shack and I ran after him.

Dipper sighed. "Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say."

"I believe you!" I said, then quickly remembered that I was only a cat. He only heard meowing.

He looked down at me in surprise. "I thought Mabel kept you inside," He said, bending over to pick me up.

Luckily, I had figured out how to evade capture by now and he stopped trying after only a few attempts.

He shook his head and continued walking. For a while, Dipper would look back to make sure I was still behind him, but stopped after a while.

Heput a sign that read "To The Mystery Shack" on a tree. He started to hammer a nail into another tree trunk, but stopped when it made a metallic clang. He tapped the tree with the hammer, and then wiped away some dust. He then opened a secret door in the tree's trunk.

I, being so small, couldn't see what was inside, but I knew that the compartment contained abox with two control switches on top. However, I still wanted to see it for real. I meowed at him and he looked down at me. He picked me up and set me next to the device.

"What do _you_ think it is?" he asked me, then shook his head. He tried one switch, but nothing happened. Then he tried the other. Behind him, a hole opened up in the ground where a goat was grazing. The movement startled the goat and it bleated and ran away.

Dipper went over to the hole and I managed to jump onto his shoulder before he was too far. "What the..." he trailed off.

Dipper looked inside the hole, and there was the book. He took me off of his shoulder and picked it up. He blew the dirt off the book and the sun glinted off of the six-fingered hand on the cover. Dipper set the book on the ground, and glanced around him.

He flipped open the cover and an eye-glass was on the first page. He looked at the eye-glass and then at me. He and put it down and flipped another page, and began to read aloud.

"It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon." Dipper glanced at me and flipped through more pages. "What is all this?" He asked no one in particular. He stopped flipping through pages and read another page.

"Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before _he_ finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust". He stopped reading and looked at me. I blinked. He closed the journal and said_ "_No one you can trust..."

Suddenly, Mabel jumped up from behind a log. "Hello!" she cried.

Dipper yelped.

Mabel noticed the journal. "What'cha readin'," she asked "some nerd thing?"

Dipper quickly hid the journal behind his back. "Uh, uh, it's nothing!" he stammered.

"Uh, uh, it's nothing!" Mabel said, imitating her brother. She laughed. "What? Are you actually not gonna show me?"

The goat had returned and was now chewing on the journal.

"Uhhh..." Dipper glanced at the goat. "Let's go somewhere private."

"It's amazing!" Dipper cried as he paced "Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side!" He showed Mabel a page.

"Whoa! Shut-up!" Mabel exclaimed, shoving Dipper.

"And get this!" Dipper said excitedly "After a certain point, the pages just stop, like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared."

The doorbell rang and Dipper looked up. "Who's that?" He asked.

"Well," Mabel said "time to spill the beans!" She tipped over an empty can. "Boop, Beans," she said "This girl's got a date! Woot! Woot!" She fell backwards into the chair, giggling.

"Let me get this straight:" Dipper said in disbelief "in the half hour I was gone, you already found a boyfriend?"

Mabel grinned. "What can I say? I guess I'm just IRRESISTIBLLLLE!" she waved her arms around as she said this. The doorbell rang twice more and she jumped up. "Oh! Coming!" she called before running off.

Dippersat down in the chair and began to read the Journal. I jumped up and sat next to him.

Grunkle Stan walkedinandsawDipper. "What'cha reading there, slick?" he asked.

Dipper jumped in surprise. "Oh!" he said, shoving the journal under a seat cushion. He shoved Mabel's can off the table and grabbed the magazine that was under it. "I was just catching up on, uh..." Dipper glanced at the cover of the magazine. "Gold Chains For Old Men Magazine?" he said.

Grunkle Stan looked at the magazine. "That's a good issue," he commented.

Mabel ran back into the room. "Hey, family!" she said "Say hello to my new boyfriend!"

Mabel's "boyfriend" turned to face us. "'Sup?" he said.

Dipper stared at him. "Hey..."

"How's it hanging?" Grunkle Stan said, not really seeming to care.

"We met at the cemetery," Mabel said. "He's _really_ deep." She squeezed his arm. "Oh. Little muscle there," she murmured "That's...what a surprise..."

"So..." Dipper said "what's your name?"

"Uh. Normal... MAN!" he cried.

Mabel smiled. "He means Norman," she said.

Dipper narrowed his eyes. "Are you bleeding, Norman?"

The red substance on Norman's face dripped off. "It's jam," he said.

Mabel gasped. "I love jam! Look. At. This!"

"So, you wanna go hold hands or... whatever?" Norman asked.

Mabel grinned. "Oh, oh, my goodness." She giggled. "Don't wait up!" she said, running out.

Norman pointedatStanandDipper and crashed into the doorframe. Several crashes could be heard as he followed after Mabel.

I followed Dipper up the stairs and jumped up next to him when he sat down. He flipped through the journal, showing me some of the things.

"Werewolf?" He asked, showing me the journal. I just sat there, what use was it to reply? He couldn't understand what I said.

"Yeah, probably not," he said.

I climbed onto his lap so I could see each page.

"Hey!" he exclaimed "This looks promising!"

I looked at the page he had stopped at and snorted.

"Bless you," was all Dipper said. Then he started reading: "Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?!" He looked at me before continuing. "Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious..." he gasped "ZOMBIES!"

I knew that somewhere in the Shack, Grunkle Stan would be muttering about 'crombies'. I tried not to laugh.

Dipper looked out the window and saw Norman walking towards Mabel with outstretched arms.

Although I couldn't hear it through the glass, I knew what Mabel was saying.

Dipper pressed his face to the window and shouted. "Oh, no! Mabel!"

I tried not to roll my eyes.

_**TO BE CONTINUED...**_

**Me: Okay, I finally have lost Mabel. To all you readers out there, please review and stay tuned! I am planning on updating tomorrow!**

**Jakelynn: Hey! Feel free to check out my story, too!**

**Me: *Grabs Jakelynn's precious necklace and runs off***

**Jakelynn: Hey! You get back here!**


	5. CHAPTER 4: Tourist Trapped (Part 2)

**Me: Hello, friends! I am back with more!**

**(nothing happens)**

**Me: What? Is no one going to interrupt me this time?**

**(no reply)**

**Me: Well okay then!**

CHAPTER FOUR:

Tourist Trapped (Part 2)

Norman put his hands on Mabel's shoulders and Dipper screamed.

I wasn't exactly laughing, as apparently cats can't laugh. However, I was making a sort of squeaking noise and then 'yeeped' as I slipped off the edge of the window sill. I managed to land on my paws when I hit the floor, so I guess that there are some advantages to being a cat.

Dipper turned away from the window. "Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?" He said, looking to where I had been a moment ago.

Even though I knew it would happen, it still startled me when Soos replied. "It's a dilemma, to be sure."

Dipper gasped and looked at him.

"I couldn't help but overhear you talkin' to Mabel's cat in this empty room," Soos said.

Dipper got up and went over to him. "Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?"

Soos thought for a moment. "Hmm. How many brains didja see the guy eat?" he asked.

Dipper sighed. "Zero," he confessed.

Soos looked at him seriously. "Look, dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf." He was quiet for a moment, then shuddered. "But ya gotta have evidence," he continued, shaking the screwdriver. "Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock."

Dipper sighed. "As always, Soos, you're right."

Soos looked very serious and said "My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse."

There was a moment of quiet. Then Grunkle Stan yelled "Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!"

"I am needed elsewhere," Soos said before walking backwards out of the room.

I swear, how does he do that without running into things?

I noticed that Dipper was leaving, so I quickly ran after him. He grabbed his camcorder off of his bed and ran outside.

I nearly got my tail shut in the door as I slipped outside after him. I paused, turning back to the closed door. _"I wonder if this is a good idea?"_ I asked myself. I shrugged and ran to catch up with Dipper.

I followed Dipper to the park where he began filming Mabel and Norman.

Mabel threw a Frisbee at Norman, which hit him in the face and he fell over.

Dipper stopped looking through camera and frowned at Norman.

Dipper went to Greasy's Diner and went inside. I attempted to follow, but was almost immediately picked up and thrown back outside by an employee. I knew my tail was flicking in annoyance, which of course annoyed me.

Have I mentioned how many times this tail has gotten me into trouble?

_ I was watching as Mabel, Wendy, and Soos had a dance party. I thought, _"What the heck?" _and decided to join in, just for the heck of it. I began to dance as well as I could, (being a cat and all) and felt my tail hit something. Then I heard a crash. I stopped and turned to see what had happened, but didn't get the chance. Grunkle Stan stood, towering over me, glaring. _

"_Mabel!" he barked at his great-niece. "Take your pet back up to the attic! I don't want any more damage caused by this walking fur ball!"_

I noticed that Norman and Mabel were coming here, too. I decided to watch, as the show only showed Dipper's view.

Norman fumbled with the door handle, then he punched through the window. He somehow managed to open it that way. I heard crashing from inside.

A few moments later, Mabel ran out of the diner, dragging Norman by the arm. Lazy Susan stood at the door with a broken coffeepot in her hand.

Dipper came out and noticed that I was sitting there. He picked me up and followed Mabel and Norman to the cemetery.

Dipper and I watched as they ran around. Norman fell into an open grave. He crawled out, groaning. He and Mabel laughed.

Dipper walked into the attic and put me down on his bed. "Mabel. We've gotta talk about Norman," he said.

Mabel smiled. "Isn't he the best?" she asked him "Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!" she showed Dipper her cheek, which had a big red circle on it.

Dipper yelled, cringing.

Mabel laughed. "Gullible," she said grinning "It was just an accident with the leaf blower!"

She was silent for a moment, and I knew she was thinking of her "kissing practice". "That was fun," she said.

Dipper was getting frustrated. "No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!" He brought out the journal.

Mabel gasped. "You think he might be a vampire?" she asked "That would be so awesome!"

"Guess again, sister," Dipper said "SHA-BAM!" he shouted, opening the book to the Gnome page.

"Agh!" Mabel cried with a look of disgust.

Dipper looked at the page. "Oh, wait. I'm-I'm sorry..." he said, flipping through pages. Then, with less enthusiasm, he said "Sha-bam!"

Mabel looked at Dipper with doubt. "A zombie?" she said, skeptically "That is not funny, Dipper."

Dipper shut the book. "I'm not joking!" he cried, beginning to pace "It all adds up: The bleeding, the limp," he paused "He never blinks! Have you noticed that?"

Mabel was still doubtful. "Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking."

Dipper was frustrated. "Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls?" he asked "Trust no one!"

Mabel was getting irritated with her brother "Well, what about me, huh?" she asked "Why can't you trust me?" She then smiled. "Beep bop!" she said, putting on star earrings.

Dipper was frantic. "Mabel!" he said, shaking her "He's gonna eat your brain!"

Mabel pushed him away. "Dipper, listen to me," she said, angrily "Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock!" she said, poking Dipper in the chest "And I'm gonna be ADORABLE!" she continued, poking him again. "And he's gonna be DREAMY!" she pushed him out of the room and he began to protest. "And I am not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!" she yelled, slamming the door.

I watched as she went back to getting ready for her date, hoping that I wouldn't be shut in here the rest of the day.

**Me: Sorry for the shortness of this shorty-short-short chapter.**

**Random Person: What?**

**Me: I'M SILLY AND I KNOW IT!**


	6. CHAPTER 5: Tourist Trapped (Part 3)

**Hooray! I finally have a question to answer!**

**nightmaster000: Yes, she will get more involved. Although, there are some episodes that I plan on her just trying to keep herself entertained, because she is shut in the attic. I can't tell you all of the ones that will be like that, as I haven't decided on all of them, but in case you want to know, "The Time Traveler's Pig" will be one of them.**

**Oh, also, I plan on updating pretty much every day. Although...I will eventually get stuck and then it could be awhile XD Also, considering this fanfic goes along with the episodes, once I run out of episodes, I might just stop until the next airs, or I may do small mini-chapters about their antics. So... WE SHALL SEE!**

CHAPTER FIVE:

Tourist Trapped (Part 3)

The doorbell rang and Mabel raced out of the room. I was pleased to see that she left the door open, and I followed her as ran down the stairs.

Mabel opened the door and Norman was standing there.

"Hey, Norman. How do I look?" she asked him.

"Shiny..." Norman replied.

Mabel smiled "You always know what to say!" she said and they walked away.

I was unable to get outside before the door closed, so I went to look for Dipper.

I found Dipper watching the tapes that he had collected.

I jumped onto the chair and sat next to him.

"Hey," I meowed at him and he jumped.

"Oh, it's you," he said, looking back at the video.

He sighed. "Soos was right. I don't have any real evidence." He fast-forwarded to another video where Norman has his arm around Mabel. "I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes and—" he trailed off.

On the tape, Norman's hand fell off. Norman glanced around, and then reattached it. "Wait, WHAT?!" Dipper shouted, making me jump. He rewound the tape and watched it again. He screamed and tipped the chair backwards, startling me.

I'd forgotten about that...

"I was right!" Dipper was frantic "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" he said and raced outside.

I attempted to follow him, only to once again get shut inside.

I tried to find an open window, or some other way to get outside. Soos walks past me with a shovel, and I remember that Soos gives the shovel to Dipper outside. I follow Soos and sure enough, he opened the door and went outside. I made a narrow escape and ran ahead to find Dipper, I wanted to actually _do_ something!

I ran around the corner and see Wendy pull up in the golf cart.

Dipper ran up to her. "Wendy! Wendy!" He yelled at her "I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!"

Wendy looked at him, then gave him the keys. "Try not to hit any pedestrians," she said as she walked away.

Dipper got in and started to drive, but Soos stopped him.

"Dude, it's me: Soos," he said "This is for the zombies," he said and he gave Dipper a shovel.

"Thanks," Dipper said.

Soos then held up a baseball bat. "And this is in case you see a piñata."

Dipper took the bat. "Uh... Thanks?" he said, before he drove off.

"Better safe than sorry!" Soos called after us.

While Dipper and Soos had been talking, I had climbed onto the golf cart and was currently on the floor of the vehicle. I was actually starting to regret my decision to come along, as I had to struggle to stay on the golf cart.

"Don't worry, Mabel! I'll save you from that zombie!" Dipper yelled.

I heard Mabel scream "Help!"

Dipper swerved. "Hold on!" he cried.

The golf cart stopped and I dared to peek out. I saw the Gnomes trying to subdue Mabel.

"The more you struggle, the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody!" said the Gnome with brown hair, who I knew was named Jeff. "Just, ha ha, okay. Get her arm there, Steve!"

Steve bit the arm of Mabel's sweater.

"Let go of me!" she said, and punched Steve off.

Steve bounced around, then stood up, leaned against a tree, and basically barfed a rainbow.

When I watched the episode, it had seemed funny. Now that I was actually seeing it, however, it just seemed wrong.

Dipper went over to the Gnomes. "What the heck is going on here?!" he demanded.

One of the Gnomes hissed at him and he flinched.

"Dipper!" Mabel cried "Norman turned out to be a bunch of Gnomes! And they're total jerks!" she said, kicking one. "Hair! Hair! Hair!" she cried as they grabbed her hair.

"Gnomes? Huh, I was way off." Dipper said. He took the journal out of his vest and read aloud: "Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses: unknown."

"Oh, come on!" Mabel shouted.

Dipper walked up to Jeff. "Hey, HEY! Let go of my sister!" he demanded

Jeff turned around. "Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our Gnome queen for all eternity!" he explained "Isn't that right, honey?" he asked Mabel.

Mabel obviously disagreed. "You guys are butt-faces!" she yelled at them before one of the Gnomes covered her mouth.

Dipper held up the shovel Soos gave him and pointed it at Jeff. "Give her back right now, or else!"

"You think you can stop us, boy?" Jeff said semi-menacing "You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the—" He broke off as Dipper casually tossed him away with the shovel.

Dipper cut Mabel free with the shovel and dragged her by the arm towards the golf cart while she kicked Gnomes away.

I jumped into the cart right before they get in.

"He's getting away with our queen!" Jeff cried "No, no, no!"

"Seatbelt," Dipper commented. Mabel buckled, then he drove away.

Mabel kept looking back. "Hurry, before they come after us!" she said.

Dipper laughed. "I wouldn't worry about it," he said, nonchalantly "See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny!"

The cart screeched to a halt. I could hear, and feel, a loud thunderous noise.

I scrambled onto the seat next to Mabel and saw the huge Gnome monster.

Mabel gaped at it. "Dang," she breathed. "Move! Move! MOVE!" Mabel screamed at her brother.

Dipper slammed his foot on the pedal and drove the cart away just as the gnomes smashed their arm down.

"Come back with our queen!" Jeff cried from the top of the monster.

"It's getting closer!" Mabel screeched.

Numerous Gnomes hit the golf cart and started to chew on it.

Mabel elbowed a gnome off.

Shmebulock jumped up behind Dipper, who grabbed him and slammed him into the steering wheel.

"Schmebulock..." was the Gnome's reply.

Another Gnome clawed Dipper's face and Mabel began punching the Gnome.

"I'll save you, Dipper!" she cried, still punching the Gnome.

The Gnome let go of Dipper's face, but not his hat. The gnome flew off the cart with Dipper's hat still in his mouth.

"Thanks, Mabel..."Dipper said. He felt his head and frowned when he didn't feel his hat.

"Don't mention it," Mabel replied.

A huge tree landed in front of the cart.

"Look out!" Mabel cried.

Dipper swerved and I dug my claws into Mabel's sweater.

The golf cart tipped over next to the Mystery Shack and we crawled out.

The Gnome monster approached us.

"Stay back, man!" Dipper said. He threw the shovel at the Gnomes, but it was punched to the ground.

Dipper and Mabel grabbed each other, screaming.

"Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?!" Dipper asked.

I knew where he was, inside the Shack with 'The World's Most Distracting Object', but it wasn't like I could tell them that.

"It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!" Jeff cried.

"There's gotta be a way out of this!" Dipper said.

Mabel looked at the Gnome monster. "I gotta do it," she said.

Dipper was shocked. "What?! Mabel, don't do this! Are you crazy?"

"Trust me," Mabel pleaded.

"What?" Dipper asked.

Mabel looked like she might cry. "Dipper, just this once. Trust me."

Dipper glanced at the Gnomes, then at Mabel. Then he backed away.

Mabel walked towards the giant Gnome. "All right, Jeff. I'll marry you," she said.

"Hot dog!" Jeff said, happily. "Help me down there, Jason!" he said as he climbed down to her. "Thanks, Andy! All right, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike." He approached Mabel and held out diamond ring. "Eh? Eh?" he said.

Mabel held out her hand and allowed him to put the ring on her finger.

"Bada-bing, bada-boom!" Jeff said, dancing. "Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!"

Mabel looked down at the ring. "You may now kiss the bride!" she said.

"Well, well, well, don't mind if I do," Jeff said, leaning up to kiss Mabel.

Mabel grabbed the leaf blower and switched it on.

Jeff jumped back in surprise. "Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?!" he cried as he was sucked into the leaf blower.

Mabel glared at Jeff. "That's for lying to me!" she said. She increased the suction. "THAT'S for breaking my heart!"

Jeff was sucked farther into the leaf blower. "Ow! My face!"

"And THIS is for messing with my brother!" Mabel aimed the leaf blower at the Gnome monster. "Wanna do the honors?" She asked Dipper.

"On three!" he replied, grabbing the blower.

On the count of three they blasted Jeff towards the gnome monster and it exploded into separate gnomes.

Jeff flew off into the distance. "I'll get you back for this!" he yelled.

The Gnomes complained while Mabel moved the leaf blower back and forth, blowing gnomes away. "Anyone else want some?" she asked.

The Gnomes fled on all fours. One of them got caught in a six-pack holder and I watched as the goat that hung around picked it up and ran off with the screaming Gnome.

I noticed that Dipper and Mabel were heading back inside and I ran after them.

Mabel saw me right before we entered and she picked me up.

"Yeesh. You two get hit by a bus or somethin'?" Grunkle Stan asked when we entered and laughed.

Dipper and Mabel walked past him without replying and he went silent.

"Uh, hey! W-Wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentally overstocked some inventory," he said, awkwardly "So, uh... how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop?" he suggested "On the house, y'know?"

Mabel perked up. "Really?" she asked.

"What's the catch?" Dipper said, skeptically.

Grunkle Stan went back to counting money. "The catch is do it before I change my mind, now take something."

Mabel set me on the floor and I climbed onto one of the counters. I watched as Dipper picked up a blue and white hat from one of the shelves and tried it on. "Hm. That oughta do the trick!" he said.

"And I will have a..." Mabel said and I turn to look at her. She grabbed an item from a box, hid it, then twirled around. "GRAPPLING HOOK!" she shouted. "Yes!"

Grunkle Stan glanced at Dipper, then back at Mabel. "Wouldncha rather have, like, a doll, or something?" he asked.

Mabel fired the grappling hook up at the ceiling. It wrapped around one of the beams and pulled her up. "GRAPPLING HOOK!" she repeated.

Grunkle Stan shrugged. "Fair enough!"

Dipper and Mabel were about to head upstairs when Grunkle Stan spoke up.

"Uh, hey, Mabel?" he said.

Mabel turned to look at him. "Yeah?" she asked.

"You can take something for your little monster, I mean," he said pausing "If you want to."

I had noticed a jacket that was similar to the one that I had at home and I pulled at it.

Mabel held up the lime-green jacket and frowned. "A bit big, but I can fix that!" she said. Then she smiled.

I hadn't wanted it to wear; I just wanted it because it reminded me of something familiar. Though, I guess if she wanted to, she could make me a jacket out of the fabric.

I laid next to Dipper and watched as he wrote in the journal on one of the 'blank' pages. I smirked, knowing that he was actually writing over invisible ink.

I read as he wrote: "_This journal told me there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust, but when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side with someone, you realize that they've probably always got your back." _

Mabel shot the grappling hook, then reeled it back with a stuffed animal attached.

Dipper shut the journal. "Hey, Mabel, could you get the light?" he asked.

"I'm on it!" Mabel said. She fired the grappling hook and I suddenly realized that I just walked right into its path. I jumped out of the way, knocking over the lantern. It shattered as it hit the floor and Dipper sighed. Though the grappling hook hadn't hit the lantern or me, it still had gone through the window.

Mabel jumped up "It worked!" she cried, then lowered the grappling hook to her side and gave a slight frown. "Sorta..."

Dipper rolled his eyes and sighed. "Uh, huh." He climbed out of bed, careful not to step on any glass. "I'll get the broom."

**Me: I was only planning on two parts for each episode, but I have decided to do three.**

**Shmebulock: Shmebulock!**

**Me: Get out of here! We beat you!**

**Shmebulock: Shmebulock?**

**Me: Okay, buddy! You're askin' for it! *claws his face***


	7. CHAPTER 6: Legend of the Gobblewonker

**Hooray! I finally have a question to answer!**

**nightmaster000: YES! YES! YES! Of course I will be doing the shorts! Funny thing is, I only became a fan of the show a few months ago! But if I had been a fan before season 2 started and I was writing this before season 2, I would have done the shorts, so I am doing the shorts! I plan on doing three chapters for those, I already have the titles and everything XD.**

**lauren: I'm not exactly sure what a Mary-Sue is, but people often tell me that they expected a Mary-Sue plot, but discovered otherwise. With that said, I'm assuming a Mary-Sue is bad, right? XD**

**Me: ON WITH THE SHOW!**

CHAPTER SIX:

The Legend of the Gobblewonker

I woke up and realized that Dipper and Mabel were already up. The door to the attic was left open, so I left and went downstairs.

I heard Mabel and Dipper's voices from the kitchen and entered in the middle of their syrup race.

"Go, Sir Syrup!" Mabel cried out.

"Go, Mounty Man!" Dipper countered.

"Go! Go! Go! Go!"

"Almost, almost!" Mabel said. Then she tapped the bottom of her bottle and the syrup dripped onto her tongue. "Yes!" she cried, coughing "I won!"

Dipper shrugged and put down his syrup bottle. Then he picked up a magazine. "Ho ho, no way!" Dipper said excitedly "Hey Mabel, check this out!"

Mabel leaned over to look at the newspaper. "Human-sized hamster balls?" she gasped. "I'm human-sized!"

"No, no, Mabel." Dipper corrected "This." He pointed to the newspaper. "We see weirder stuff than that every day!" he exclaimed. "We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?"

Mabel shook her head. "Nope, just memories," she paused "And this beard hair." She held up a tuft of white hair.

Dipper looked at her. "Why did you save that?" he asked, confused.

Mabel shrugged. "hmm-mm."

Grunkle Stan entered the kitchen.

"Good morning, knuckleheads," he greeted "You two know what day it is?"

Dipper thought for a moment. "Um... Happy anniversary?" he guessed.

"Mazel tov!" Mabel cried out.

Grunkle Stan hit Dipper with a newspaper. "It's Family Fun Day, genius!" He walked over to fridge and got out some milk. "We're cuttin' off work and having one of those, you know," he paused to sniff the milk "bonding-type deals."

Dipper straightened his hat. "Grunkle Stan, is this gonna be anything like our last family bonding day?" he asked.

Mabel shuddered. "The county jail was so cold," she said.

Grunkle Stan shrugged. "All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker," he admitted "But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun," he said "Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"

"YAY!" both Dipper and Mabel cheered.

Then Dipper said "Wait, what?"

**Sorry for the delay. Short chapter, I know, but I've been busy.**


	8. CHAPTER 7: Well That Just Happened

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Well That Just Happened

I stared out the window of the Mystery Shack as Stan pulled away in his car.

"Pest! He called me a pest!" I hissed in fury. Mabel had asked if I could come with them, but Stan said that he didn't want "that pest" ruining his seats. So, here I was, stuck here in the empty Shack.

I jumped down from the window sill and noticed the vending machine. _"I have seen nearly every episode of Gravity Falls, but of course I had to be taken back to the beginning of summer right before the big episode aired!"_ I thought angrily. Then I had an idea.

I scrambled up onto the counter that was closest to the machine, but I wasn't nearly close enough. I jumped down and looked around the gift shop. I had never paid much attention to the shop before, but I found the ladder to the roof.

"Wait... Ladder to the roof?!" I cried aloud. I thought back to the episode when we first find out about the ladder. It was in "The Inconveniencing", which was _before_ "Fight Fighters"; when Stan concurred his fear of heights. I laughed, I just found an inconsistency without even trying!

I froze as I heard the door open. I spun around and made break for the closing door. I made a narrow escape and stopped to catch my breath.

I jumped as the door opened again and I looked to see who it was. It was Wendy.

"Oh, hey little kitty," she said "Shouldn't you be inside?" She picked me up and took me back inside the Shack. "There, Mabel would be pretty upset if you got lost." Wendy smiled at me and left, making sure I didn't try to escape again. Well, so much for that.


	9. CHAPTER 8: Bored, but Not Alone

CHAPTER EIGHT:

Bored Out of my Mind, but Not Alone

After a boring day of being cooped up in the Mystery Shack, I expected to have some fun once the twins returned. Of course, Mabel had other plans. For the past two hours she had been showing me picture after picture in her photo album and telling long stories. Some of them I already knew, but listening to the ones I didn't know was also boring, because she took so long to tell each story.

"And this is a picture Soos took of the beavers," she said cheerfully.

I figured we were getting near the end, because the beavers were from "Legend of the Gobblewonker", which I'm pretty sure occurred today.

"This one had a chainsaw and—" Dipper cut her off.

"Mabel, Grunkle Stan said we're having dinner at Greasy's Diner," he said.

"Ooh!" Mabel exclaimed "Coming!"

I heard Dipper mutter something under his breath as he left. I looked towards Mabel. She was putting on a different sweater.

"See ya, Snuggles," she said, patting my head as she left.

I gave her an annoyed look, which went right over her head. Oh well, I guess patting me is better than nearly squeezing me to death.

"I'm gonna bring you back some French-fries!" Mabel said, poking her head back in.

I sighed. Once again, I was alone, but at least not being tortured by Mabel's rambling. I know I could have just left, but Dipper had told her that he was too busy decoding the journal to listen to stories about things that they had encountered. I didn't want Mabel to feel like nobody appreciated her stories.

As soon as they got back, Mabel came looking for me.

"Snuggles!" she squealed when she saw me. "I couldn't bring you any French-fries, because Grunkle Stan ate them all, but I did bring you this!" Mabel reached into her sweater pocket and pulled out a sheet of stickers. "Here!" she said, sticking a sticker on top of my head.

"Mabel, you _do_ know what happens when you put stickers on hair, right?" Dipper asked, pulling off his shoes.

"Of course I do, Dipper," Mabel replied "I am a sticker genius!" She grinned.

"Well, _Sticker Genius_," Dipper said "You happen to have half a sticker stuck to the side of your head." He pointed at the ripped heart sticker in Mabel's hair.

"Well, duh!" Mabel said, still grinning "It's the other half of Snuggles' sticker!" she pointed at me.

"Well, good luck getting it out of your hair," Dipper said as he flipped through his journal.

"Thanks, bro-bro," Mabel said "But _I_ don't need it!" As if to prove it, she reached up and gripped the sticker. "Ow, ow, ow," she said, pulling at the sticker. Dipper looked up and gave a small smile. "Ow, okay, almost got it!" Mabel continued pulling at it. "Okay, never mind the sticker," Mabel said "More tales of adventure from Mabel's Scrapbook!" she held up her book, which was covered in glitter and stickers. "Due to the fact that I was interrupted before," Mabel said "I will have to start from the beginning!"

I sighed. Oh boy.


	10. CHAPTER 9: Arts and Crafts and Things

**For anyone wondering how long this story will be, I'm not entirely sure. Part one (which is based off season 1) will have a total of 71 chapters! I'm not quite sure how often I'll update. It will depend on it the chapter is based off of an episode or if I am doing the chapter mostly from scratch.**

CHAPTER NINE:

Arts and Crafts and Things Like That

I entered the living room to see Dipper and Mabel watching a show on television called Duck-tective. Mabel was knitting a new sweater and Dipper was eating popcorn from a bowl. Mabel reached for some popcorn, but Dipper slapped her hand.

I sat down next to Dipper and looked at the TV.

"I'm afraid your services won't be required here sir," the man said to Duck-tective "My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident."

Duck-tective started quacking and the subtitles read: An accident, constable? Or is it...Murder?!

"What?!" the man exclaimed, before the show went to a commercial.

Mabel dropped her sweater and gasped. "That duck is a genius!"

Dipper shrugged. "Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground," he said.

"So true," I agreed and Mabel picked me up. Of course.

"Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?" Mabel asked skeptically as I squirmed.

"Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation," Dipper replied "For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating..." he sniffed. "...an entire tube of toothpaste?!"

"It was so sparkly..." she defended, her mouth covered in blue toothpaste.

I managed to get free and landed on the chair.

Suddenly, Soos ran into the room. "Hey, dudes!" he said "You'll never guess what I found!"

"Buried treasure!" Dipper guessed.

"Buried—" Mabel stopped. She laughed and pushed Dipper playfully. "Hey, I was gonna say that!"

I followed Soos and the twins down the hall.

"So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper," he said as we walked. "It's crazy bonkers creepy!"

He opened the door and we go in. The room was filled with several different wax sculptures of famous people. I shuddered, I knew that they were probably watching us.

Dipper shined a flashlight around. "Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!" he exclaimed.

Mabel looked around in amazement. "They're so life-like," she said.

Dipper pointed to Stan. "Except for that one," he said.

"Hello!" he shouted.

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos all jumped and screamed in surprise.

Grunkle Stan chuckled. "It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!" he said.

They screamed even louder and ran away.

I looked back at Grunkle Stan.

"Whadda you lookin' at?" he asked me and then left the room.

He came back a bit later with Dipper and Mabel. "Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum!" he said. "It was one of our most popular attractions... before I forgot all about it," he paused. "I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"

Dipper shuddered. "Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" he asked

"Most definitely," I replied, then did a mental face-palm.

"Oh, hey, Snuggles!" Mabel said.

I realized too late that she was going to pick me up and wasn't able to avoid it. I always hated when Mabel held me, because she would hold me way too tight.

Stan ignored what was going on and continued. "And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over—" he trailed off and looked at a melted glob of wax on the floor. "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open?" he asked "Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!" He bent down and put finger in the wax. He sighed. "How do you fix a wax figure?" he asked us.

Mabel put me down and went over to him. "Cheer up, Grunkle Stan," she said "Where's that smile?"

"Eh."

"Beep, bop, boop!" Mable said, as she cheerfully poked Grunkle Stan in the face.

"Ow," he said, as was poked in the eye.

"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan," Mabel said "I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!"

Grunkle Stan raised an eyebrow. "You really think you can make one of these puppies?" he asked.

"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master," Mabel said confidently "Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" She held up her arm, which had a glue gun glued to it. "Eh, Augh!" she said, shaking her arm

"I like your gumption, kid!" Grunkle Stan said.

"I don't know what that word means, but thank you!"

* * *

Dipper entered the room drinking soda and walking towards Mabel.

"Dipper!" Mabel said, startling him and he started choking on his soda.

"What do you think of my wax figure idea?" Mabel asked and she showed Dipper a drawing in her sketch-book. "She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!"

"Maybe you should carve something from real life," Dipper suggested.

Mabel showed Dipper another drawing. "Like a waffle, with big arms!"

"Yeah, okay... Or, you know, something else," he said "Like- like someone in your family."

Grunkle Stan entered the room. "Kids," he said "have you seen my pants?" He posed on a briefcase.

Mabel looked towards the ceiling. "Oh, muse," she said "You work in mysterious ways."

Grunkle Stan looked at Dipper. "Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?" he asked.

* * *

Mabel stepped back to admire her work. "I think..." she said "it needs more glitter."

"Agreed," Soos said, as he handed Mabel a bucket of glitter.

Mabel tossed the entire bucket onto the wax figure. I sneezed as a piece of glitter landed on my nose.

Grunkle Stan walked in. "I found my pants but now I'm missing my—" be broke off as he noticed Wax Stan. He yelled and fell over.

"What do you think?" Mabel said, going over to him.

"I think... the Wax Museum's back in business!" he cried.

* * *

I sat on the table where Dipper and Wendy were selling tickets and watched as Soos directed people to see the grand opening of the Wax Museum with a pair of corndogs. He took a bite of one, then went back to directing.

"I can't believe this many people showed up," Dipper commented and I looked towards him and Wendy.

"I know, right?" Wendy agreed "Your uncle probably bribed them or something."

"He bribed me," Dipper said. He held up a dollar bill.

Wendy responded by also holding up a dollar. They both laughed.

All three of us winced as the sound of feedback came from the direction of the stage.

"Hey, I think it's starting!" Wendy said.

Dipper stood up and followed Wendy to the stage. I jumped down and ran after them.

"As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known," Grunkle Stan said "But enough about me. Behold... me!" he said, uncovering Wax Stan.

Soos made a fanfare sound with his keyboard, then made a "Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!" sound.

Two people in the audience politely clapped and someone coughed.

"And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!" Grunkle Stan said.

"It's Mabel," she said as she took the microphone. "Thank you for coming!" she called out "I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!"

People in the audience groaned in disgust.

Mabel chuckled "I will now take questions!" Someone in the back raised their hand. "You there!" Mabel called.

"Old Man McGucket, local kook," he introduced himself. "Are the wax figures alive?" he asked "And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?"

Mabel looked confused. "Um...Yes!" she answered. Mabel pointed to Toby Determined. "Next question!"

Toby held up a turkey baster as if it were a microphone. "Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper," he said "Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?"

Grunkle Stan stared at Toby. "Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby."

Toby looked at his 'microphone'. "It certainly is," he said.

"Next question," Stan said, pointing to someone else.

"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter," she said. "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?"

Audience members murmured.

"Uh...That was a typo," Stan said "Good night, everyone!" He used a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fee with him.

The audience began to leave.

A guy with a T-shirt that said: Free Pizza! sadly walked off.

"In your face!" Manly Dan said as he punched a pole.

"I think that went well," Mabel said.


	11. CHAPTER 10: Mystery Trio?

CHAPTER TEN:

Mystery... Trio?!

I was sitting on a table and watched as Stan counted the money he got from the grand opening.

"Hot pumpkin pie!" He shouted "Look at all this cash!" He grinned "And I owe it all to one person, this guy!" he said and pointed to Wax Stan.

Mabel jokingly punched Grunkle Stan.

"Oh!" he cried and grabbed Mabel to give her a noogie. "Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!"

Mabel and Dipper frowned as they left the room. I started to follow, but looked back when I heard Stan sigh. "Kids," was all he said before turning on the TV.

I raced upstairs to the attic and found Mabel jumping on her bed. "Grappling hook!" she screamed, shooting her grappling hook out the door and into the hall.

"Ow!" Dipper yelped. He entered the attic, rubbing his head. "Mabel, seriously? Again with the grappling hook!"

"Grappling hook!" Mabel said, retracting the hook.

"Yeah, Okay," Dipper said, rolling his eyes "But seriously, this is what, the fifth time within three days that you have hit me with that thing?"

Mabel set down her grappling hook and slowly walked up to Dipper. She sighed. "Dipper," she said, looking him in the eye. She slowly raised one hand. "Boop," she said, poking Dipper in the nose.

He cracked a small smile and playfully shoved her. "But seriously, watch where you shoot that thing," he said.

"No problamo, brobro!" Mabel said as she and Dipper entered the bathroom.

They were silent for most of the time until Mabel said: "Dipper, you wanna do a toothbrush race?"

Dipper shrugged. "Okay".

Suddenly, Stan screamed. "No... No... Noooooo!"

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other and ran downstairs with me close behind.

When we entered the room, we saw Stan standing over a headless Wax Stan.

"Wax Stan!" he cried "He's been... m-murdered!"

Grunkle Stan raced out of the room and I could hear him talking a few moments later.

"Hello? Police? There's been a murder!" I rolled my eyes, boy was he self-centered, he acted as if Wax Stan was real!

A few minutes later, the police arrived at the Shack. Stan talked to them and explained the situation to the officers.

"I got up to use the Jon, right?" he said "And when I come back, blammo! He's headless!"

"My expert handcrafting, besmirched," Mabel said, crying "Besmiiiirrrched!"

"Who would do something like this?" Dipper asked.

"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?" Deputy Durland asked.

"Look, we'd love to help you folks," Sheriff Blubs said "But let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable."

"You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!" Stan said angrily.

"You're kidding, right?" Dipper said "There must be evidence, motives," he paused "You know, I could help if you want."

"He's really good!" Mabel chipped in "He figured out who was eating our tin cans!"

Dipper narrowed his eyes. "All signs pointed to the goat."

"Yeah, yeah!" Stan agreed "Let the boy help. He's got a little brain up in his head."

"Oooh! Would you look at what we got here!" Blubs said "City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!"

"City boooy! City booooooy!" Durland teased.

"You are adorable!" Blubs said.

Dipper stared at him. "Adorable?" he asked.

Blubs and Durland laughed.

"Look, P.J.'s," Sheriff Blubs said "how about you leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?"

Suddenly static came from Blubs' walkie talkie: "Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!"

"It's a 23-16!" Deputy Durland cried.

"Let's move!" Blubs replied before they both ran off.

Those guys are such idiots.

"That's it!" Dipper said, angrily "Mabel, you and me are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head," he paused "Then we'll see who's adorable." He sneezed.

"Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!" Mabel said and Dipper scowled.

I sat on the chair and watched as Dipper and Mabel studied the crime scene.

"Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it," Dipper said.

Mabel was taking pictures around the room.

"There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling," Dipper said "The murderer could have been anyone."

"Yeah! Even us!" Mabel cried.

Dipper continued, ignoring Mabel's last comment. "In this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue."

"Hey, look! A clue!" Mabel said, pointing to footprints in the carpet.

"Footprints in the shag carpet!" Dipper said

"That's weird," Mabel said, looking closer "They've got a hole in them."

Dipper followed the prints. "And they're leading to..." He went behind the chair I was on and I jump onto the back of it to see.

Dipper and Mabel gasped and looked at each other.

I sat on the counter while Dipper and Mabel showed Soos the axe.

"So, what do you think?" Dipper asked him.

"In my opinion: this is an ax," Soos replied.

"Wait a minute!" Mabel exclaimed "The lumberjack!"

"Of course!" Dipper agreed "He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza."

Mabel nodded. "Furious enough, for murder!"

"Oh, you mean Manly Dan," Soos said "Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown."

"Then that's where we're going," Mabel said.

"Dudes, this is awesome!" Soos said "You three are like: The Mystery Trio!"

Mabel grinned. "Yeah!"

Mystery...Trio?! I stared at Soos. It was supposed to be Mystery _Twins_!

"Don't call us that," Dipper said "Besides, Mabel's cat would be a mascot, not a key member."

Mabel grabbed me off the counter. "Snuggles is not a mascot!" she said defensively.

Dipper rolled his eyes and headed towards the door. Mabel followed him with me still in her arms.

We stopped at Stan's car where he was pulling a coffin out of the trunk. "Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya?" he said "I'm doin' a moral service for wax Stan. Something small but, classic." He pulled the coffin out of the car and set it on the ground.

"Sorry, Grunkle Stan," Dipper apologized "But we have got a big break in the case!"

"Break in the case!" Mabel shouted, dropping me.

I quickly get behind Dipper, as it seemed the safest place from Mabel.

"We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer," Dipper told Stan.

"We have an axe!" Mabel said, showing Stan the axe they had found "REE, REE, REE!"

Stan narrowed his eyes. "Hm, it seem like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do..." he trailed off "Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me kids! AVENGE MEEE!"

I peeked out of Dipper's backpack to see that we were in town.

"This is the place," Dipper said "Got the fake IDs?" he paused "Here goes nothing"

"We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Stan," Mabel said.

I heard a rattling noise. "Dedledle-e." Mabel said.

"Works for me," someone said.

I saw numerous men fighting inside the building as we entered.

"Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?" Dipper said.

"You got it, Dippingsauce," Mabel said, giving a thumbs up. She sat down in a chair and started talking to a man.

I climbed out of Dipper backpack and landed on the floor. I stuck close to Dipper, so I wouldn't get stepped on.

"Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see," Dipper said, approaching him. "Where were you last night?"

"Punchin' the clock," Dan said.

"You were at work." Dipper tried to clarify.

"No, I was punchin' that clock!" Manly Dan pointed to a broken clock outside.

Dipper followed his finger and looked at the clock. "10 o'clock, the time of the murder." He pulled the axe out of his backpack. "So, I guess you've never seen this before?"

"Listen little girl!" Dan said.

I snorted.

"Hey, actually I'm a—" Dipper began, only for Manly Dan to cut him off.

"I wouldn't pick my teeth with that axe!" he shouted "It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!" he ripped the machine's arm off as he said this and began beating the machine with it.

"Get 'im! Get 'im!" Tyler cheered.

Dipper ran up to Mabel. "Mabel, big break in the case!" he said, grapping her arm.

Dipper and Mabel ran outside and I wove in-between people's feet to keep up.

"It's a left handed axe," Dipper told Mabel and showed her a list. "These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer."

"Oh man, we are on fire today!" Mabel cheered "Pazaw, Pazaw, Pazaw!"

"Let's find that murderer," Dipper said and fist bumped Mabel.

Mabel saw that I was no longer in Dipper's backpack and picked me up. Then she put me in the pocket on the front of her sweater, which I guess is better than her holding me.

Dipper and Mabel ran around town to find the people who were at the grand opening. Mabel waved at McGucket at the dump and he waved back with his right hand which has an alligator in it. Dipper writes something on the clipboard.

Dipper was about to go up to the house when Mabel stopped him. "Wait, bro-bro," she said "You're gonna need this." she stuck a fake mustache on his forehead and grinned.

"Uh, thanks?" Dipper took the mustache off of his forehead and stuck it where is should go and want up to the door carrying a package. He rang the doorbell and the man with the FREE PIZZA shirt answered.

He signed Dipper's form only for Dipper to take the package and leave.

As we were headed to Mikey's house, Mabel saw the lady who threw a chair. Mabel whistled to her and threw a baseball towards her. She caught it with her right hand and crushed it.

We arrived at Mikey's house and Dipper rang the doorbell. Mikey came to the door with both hands in casts and Dipper crossed his name out.

This went on all day, but everyone we saw was right-handed.

Dipper gasped. "Mabel, there's only one person left on this list!" he said excitedly.

Mabel gasped. "Of course," she said "It all adds up!"


	12. CHAPTER 11: Attack of the Idiots and

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

Attack of the Idiots and Wax Men

We stopped in front of a small house.

"You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it," Sheriff Blubs said.

Dipper looked smug. "The evidence is irrefutable," he said.

Mabel nodded. "It's so irrefutable," she agreed

"I gonna get to use my match stick!" Deputy Durland shouted.

"You ready?" Blubs asked "You ready little fella?"

Blubs and Durland laughed and poked each other with their police batons.

"On three!" Dipper said "One, two, ..."

Before he could even say 'three', Deputy Durland had smashed the door open and run inside, screaming.

I rolled my eyes.

"Nobody move! This is a raid!" Blubs shouted.

Toby, who was sitting at a desk, fell backwards in surprise. "What is this?" he asked in confusion "Some kind of raid?"

"Derp!" Durland said, smashing a lamp.

"Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan," Dipper said.

"You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work," Mabel agreed. She gave Dipper a high-five.

"Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!" Toby cried.

"Then allow me to explain," Dipper offered "You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline."

Mabel held up a newspaper with a picture of Wax Stan's head.

"But you were sloppy," Dipper continued "And all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed."

Mabel crumpled the newspaper into a ball. "Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news."

"Boy, you're little knees must be sore... from jumping to conclusions! Hachacha!" He said, dancing. "I had nothing to do with that murder."

"I knew it!" Dipper cried, then faltered.

"Could you repeat?" Mabel said at the same time Dipper said "Wait, what did you say? Nothing? You say nothing?"

"Then where were you at the night of the break-in?" Sheriff Blubs asked, skeptically.

Toby nervously pulled at the collar of his shirt. Then he inserted a tape into a VCR.

The video showed Toby walking to a closet and opening it. "Finally, we can be alone, cardboard cutout of TV news reporter Shandra Jimenez!" Toby said, pulling a cardboard cutout from the closet. He then began kissing it.

Dipper and Mabel groaned in disgust, while I wrinkled my nose.

Sheriff Blubs turned to Toby. "Time state confirms. Toby, you're off the hook," he said "You freak of nature."

"Hooray!" Toby cheered.

Dipper was startled. "But, but it has to be him!" he insisted "Check the axe for fingerprints!"

Sheriff Blubs checked for finger prints, then said "No prints at all."

"No prints?" Dipper said, confused.

"Hey I got a headline for you!" Deputy Durland said "City kids waste everyone's time."

He and Blubs laughed.

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other, embarrassed.

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you two," Toby said, as the video of him kissing the cutout of Shandra Jimenez continues to play.

Dipper and Mabel walked back to the Mystery Shack in silence. When we got there, we saw that Grunkle Stan had set up chairs for Wax Stan's funeral.

Dipper set down his backpack and sat down next to Soos. Mabel took me and the axe out of Dipper's backpack and sat down next to him. I jumped onto the chair next to her.

"Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming," Grunkle Stan said.

Soos blew his nose.

"Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself," Grunkle Stan continued.

Soos jumped up. "They're wrong!" he shouted.

"Easy Soos," Stan said "Wax Stan, I hope you're a pickpocket in wax heaven." He started to cry. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!" he said, running away.

Soos ran after Stan. "Ohhhhh duuuude..."

Dipper sighed. "Those cops are right about me."

"Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now," Mabel insisted, still holding the axe.

Dipper stood up and walked over to the coffin. "But I considered everything," he insisted "The weapon, the motive, the clues..." He trailed off as he looked inside the coffin, then he sighed. "Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it," he stated.

Mabel went over to him. "All the wax guys have that," she said. "It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand deallies."

"Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints?" Dipper asked. "Mabel! The murderers are—"

"Standing right behind you!" Wax Sherlock Holmes finished.

I leapt off my chair and ran over to the twins.

All the wax figures came to life as they turned around.

Dipper gasped. "Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?"

"S'up Holmes?" Wax Coolio said.

Wax Lizzie Borden took her axe from Mabel.

Mabel grabbed me and walked a few steps backwards, saying "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

"Congratulations, my two amateur sleuths," Wax Holmes said "You have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you."

Dipper and Mabel glance at each other in both slight confusion and fear.

"Bravo, Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret," Wax Holmes said, taking Wax Stan's head out of his coat. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically."

The rest of the wax figures started clapping.

Wax Holmes glared at them. "Uh, no that sounds too sincere, slow clap."

The wax figures paused, then resumed clapping, but this time slower.

Wax Holmes nodded. "There we go, nice and condescending."

"But... how is this possible?" Dipper asked "You're made of wax!"

"Are you... magic?" Mabel asked, hopefully.

Wax Holmes laughed. "Are we magic?" He mocked "She wants to know if we're magic!" he stopped laughing. "We're CURSED!"

The wax figures echoed him.

Wax Holmes continued. "Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."

"A haunted garage sale, son!" Wax Coolio added.

"After your uncle bought us, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born," Wax Holmes said. "By day, we would be the playthings of man."

Wax Coolio took over "But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule da night."

"It was a charmed life for us cursed beings," Wax Holmes continued "That is, until your uncle closed up shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away," he paused. "But we got the wrong guy."

"So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!" Dipper asked.

Mabel turned to Dipper. "You were right all along, Dipper! Wax people are creepy!"

Wax Holmes turned around. "Enough! Now that you know our secret, you must... die."

The wax figures growled and their eyes rolled back in their heads. They started walking towards us, driving us back against the table.

"What do we do, what do we do?" Mabel asked, franticly.

"I don't know!" Dipper cried.

Dipper and Mabel both reached back and started throwing stuff at the wax figures.

Dipper grasped for something else, but the rest was out of his reach.

I jumped onto the table and pushed the coffee pot closer to him.

He grabbed it and threw it at them.

It hit Wax Genghis Khan and he began to melt.

Both twins looked down at the pot.

"That's it!" Mabel exclaimed "We can melt them with hotty melty things!"

Dipper and Mabel turned around and grabbed the electric candles behind them.

"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!" Dipper threatened.

"Decorative candles!" Mabel agreed.

"You really think you can defeat us?" Wax Sherlock Holmes asked.

Dipper faltered slightly. "I-I don't really know. I'm not-I'm not really sure."

Mabel shrugged "It's worth a shot, I guess."

"So be it," Wax Holmes said "Attack!"

The figures began closing in on the twins. Wax Lizzie Borden swung her axe at Mabel, but accidently decapitated Wax Robin Hood. Mabel walked around her, but Wax Shakespeare snuck up behind her. Mabel cut off his hands with the candle, and he ran away. His hands, however, attempted to strangle Mabel. Mabel stumbled back into a door, and repeatedly slammed it on his fingers.

"Interview this, Larry King!" Dipper said as he cut off Wax Larry King's head.

"My neck! My beautiful neck!" Wax Larry King cried.

Wax Groucho Marx touched Dipper's candle and his hand slightly melted.

"Jokes on you, Groucho!" Dipper said, cutting Groucho in half.

"I've heard about a cutting remark but this is ridiculous!" he said, as the top half of his body slid the lower half. "Hey, why is there nothing in my hand?"

Wax Genghis Khan ran at Dipper, but Dipper stepped out of the way and he ran right into the fireplace.

Wax splattered all over the room, hitting both me and Dipper.

"Ha, Genghis Khan!" Dipper laughed. "You fell harder than the uh... I don't know, uh, Qin Dynasty? Heh. Yeah. Alright." he got up and ran back into the fight.

Mabel swung Wax Coolio's head around, hitting numerous wax figures.

"What's up with that?" he asked her, afterwards.

"Dipper! Watch out!" Mabel called to her brother.

Dipper cut off Wax Richard Nixon's leg, and turned around to see Wax Sherlock Holmes approaching him.

"Alright. Let's get this taken care of," Wax Holmes said, putting Wax Stan's head on the horn of a rhino on the wall. He grabbed a sword then swung at Dipper, smacking the candle out of his hand. The candle fell onto the floor and broke.

Wax Holmes raised the sword above his head, preparing to kill Dipper.

Mabel heated a poker "Catch!" she cried, throwing it to Dipper.

Dipper caught the poker and used it to block the sword. Wax Holmes kept attacking and pushed Dipper upstairs. I looked towards Mabel, but instead saw one of the wax figures holding the axe. They swung at me and I jumped off the table. They followed after me, but was quickly taken care of by Mabel's candle.

Mabel started picking up the scattered pieces of the wax figures and carried them over to the fire place.

I followed her and watched. She looked down at me. "I think I'll save the poem guy for last, he's funny." She said, then went back to tossing the wax into the fire.

"...Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise again!" Wax Shakespeare finished yet another poem.

By this time, I was getting quite annoyed with him.

"Y'know any limericks?" Mabel asked, picking the head up.

Wax Shakespeare thought for a moment. "Uh... there once was a dude from Kentucky..."

"Nope!" Mabel said and she threw his head into the fire.

Dipper entered the room and Mabel runs over to him.

"Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all!" Mabel said.

Dipper pulled up a chair and took Wax Stan's head off the wall. "I couldn't have done it without my sidekick," he said

Mabel raised an eyebrow. "No offense Dipper," she said "But you're the sidekick."

Dipper jumped off the chair. "What? Says who? A-are people saying that? Have you heard that?" He asked.

Grunkle Stan walked in and stopped. "Hot Belgian waffles!" he shouted "What happened to my parlor!?"

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!" Mabel said grinning.

"I decapitated Larry King," Dipper stated calmly.

"I now hate wax," I meowed. I was getting annoyed, as one of my ears wouldn't stop flicking because of some wax that was stunk on it.

Mabel held me up. "And Snuggles helped!" she said.

Stan laughed. "You kids and your imaginations!"

"On the bright side, though," Dipper said "Look what we found." He handed Grunkle Stan Wax Stan's head.

Grunkle Stan smiled. "My head!" He laughed. "I missed this guy! You done good kids!" he said "Alright, line up for some affectionate noogying."

Dipper and Mabel stepped back. "Uh, I'm not so sure about that. Is there any other alternative...?" Dipper asked as Mabel said "Oh uh... I'm not so sure..."

Grunkle Stan laughed and noogied the twins anyways.

Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland pull up to the window.

"Solved the case yet, boy?" Blubs asked "I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee."

Dipper smiled. "Actually, the answer is yes," he said, then held up Wax Stan's head.

Blubs spluttered and spit his coffee in Durland's face.

Durland screamed and in return, spit coffee in Blubs' face.

Blubs screamed and spit coffee in Durland's face again.

Durland screamed again and spit coffee in Blubs' face again.

"It burns! It burns!" Blubs wailed.

"My eyes!" Durland said

They drove away screaming and we all laughed.

"They got scalded!" Grunkle Stan said.

"So, did you get rid of all the Wax Figures?" Dipper asked Mabel.

"I am ninety-nine percent sure that I did!" Mabel replied.

"Good enough for me!" Dipper said.

\- l - l - l -

Mabel stood in front of a mirror, trying to decide what sweater to wear the next day, with me sitting on the dinosaur skull.

"Hey Dipper, which do you think is better?" she asked her brother "Sequins or llama hair?"

"The llama hair," A voice said from the vent above me.

I looked up and saw Wax Larry King's head.

"Llamas are nature's greatest warriors," he said before hopping away.

Mabel grinned. "Thanks Dipper!" she said before running off.

Dipper stopped reading, sat up, and looked around. He shrugged and went back to reading.


	13. CHAPTER 12: Meeting Gideon

_**NOTE:**_

_I was unable to find a transcript for The Hand That Rocks the Mabel, so I am typing this as I watch the episode. I apologize for any details that I missed._

CHAPTER TWELVE:

Meeting Gideon

Mabel held me on her lap as she, Dipper, and Soos watched TV. We had been watching Ducktective for the last half-hour. The episode ended, then a new show began. It was rather dumb, but they seemed to enjoy it.

"The Tiger was badly injured in the explosion," the narrator said "but we repaired him...With a fist!"

The tiger punched himself, and I rolled my eyes. I was seriously getting bored.

"Tiger-Fist will return after these messages," the announcer said.

"Hey look," Soos said, "It's that commercial I was telling you guys about."

I looked towards the TV, only to realize that it was the commercial for Gideon's Tent of Telepathy. I was able to jump down without Mabel noticing and went to the front window. I watched outside until I saw that Wendy had finally shown up for work. Suddenly, I was snatched from my spot and stuffed into Mabel's sweater pocket. I peeked out and saw that we were heading outside.

As we approached the Tent of Telepathy, I could hear music coming from inside.

"Step right up, folks!" Bud called from the tent's entrance. "Put your money in Gideon's Psychic Sack!"

We sat down and Mabel put me in between her and Dipper.

"Whoah!" Dipper said "This is like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack!" he pointed to his right. "They even have their own Soos!"

"It's starting! It's starting!" Mabel said, grinning.

"Let's see what this 'monster' looks like," Dipper said, skeptically.

I couldn't see past the seats in front of us, but I really didn't care. I heard squeaking, then Gideon spoke.

"Hello, America! Mah name is Lil' Gideon!"

He clapped his hands, then the crowd went wild.

"That's Stan's mortal enemy?" Dipper said, surprised.

"But he so... Widdle!" Mabel said.

"_But can cause huge amounts of trouble," _I thought irritably.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight!" Gideon said "Such a gift." He paused for a moment. "Ah had a vision," he said "I predict that you will all say," he tutted his tongue "Aww"

Soon after, the crowd 'awed'.

"It came true," Mabel said, entranced.

"What? I'm not impressed," Dipper said.

Mabel turned to him. "You're impressed," she said, smiling.

"Hit it Dad!" Gideon called, then began singing.

Oh ah can see

What others can't see

It ain't some sideshow trick

It's a neat ability

Where others are blind

I am futurly inclined

And you too could see

If you was widdle ol' me!

"C'mon everybody!" he called "Rise up! I want ya'll to keep it goin'!"

Dipper was startled. "Wha? How did he..."

"Keep it goin!"

You wish your son would call you more

I sense that you've been here before

Gideon came down the aisle to our row.

I'll read your mind if I am able

Somethin' tells me your named Mabel

"How'd he do that?" Mabel asked.

"_Your sweater has your name on it,"_ I thought.

So welcome all ye!

to the Tent o' Telepathy

And thanks for visitin'

Widdle ol' me!

"Thank you!" Gideon called out "You people are the real miracles!"

"Man that kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan," Dipper said as we left. "No wonder our uncle is jealous!"

"Aw c'mon," Mabel said "His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair?! It was like Woosh!"

"You're too easily impressed," Dipper commented.

"Yeah, yeah!"

_**Well, it's been exactly two months since I updated, and since there has been three new episodes, I decided it was about time I updated!**_


	14. CHAPTER 13: Cheer up, Mabel

_**Himeno Kazehito: I refuse to give any spoilers of future chapters :D**_

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

Cheer Up, Mabel

I was in the middle of a nice nap when I was rudely awakened my Mabel trying to bezazzle me. I quickly escaped and took refuge in the gift shop in an empty box.

Eventually I left and went back into the living room, just as Mabel entered, who has glittery jewels all over her face.

"Check it out, Dipper!" she called "I successfully bezazzled my face!" she blinked. "Ow."

"Is that permanent?" Dipper asked.

"I'm unappreciated in my time," Mabel replied.

The doorbell rang.

"Could somebody answer that door?" Stan called from somewhere else in the shack.

"I'll get it!" Mabel offered, brushing the gems off her face.

I followed Mabel to the door and she opened it. Gideon was outside.

"Howdy!" He said and I gave a low growl before going back inside where Dipper was now reading through the journal.

I must say, I much rather Dipper's company rather than Mabel's. Not that she isn't nice to be around, but she is just way to grabby. I'd rather just sit next to someone, not be held every two seconds.

I climbed onto the back of the chair and looked at the page he was staring at. I saw that it was the piece of the blueprint for the portal. I stayed there for a while before falling asleep.

\- I - I -

I was woken up by Soos entering the room.

"Hey dude!" he called "You ready to blow up these hotdogs in the microwave one by one?"

"Am I?!" Dipper said, running off with Soos.

I could hear them in the kitchen chanting "One at a time! One at a time!"

\- I - I -

After the next time Mabel went to hang out with Gideon, I watched her and Dipper play Race Carz, Dipper was winning.

"It's not a date, date," Mabel was saying "it's just, you know, I didn't want to hurt his feelings, and so I figured, I'd throw him a bone."

"Mabel, guys don't work that way," Dipper said, turning to look at her. "He's gonna fall in love with you."

"Psh, yeah right!" Mabel said "I'm not _that_ lovable!" She went back to paying attention to the game. She caught up to Dipper's car and slammed into his, making it crash into the wall of the track. "Kaboom, yes!" she cheered.

Dipper frowned. "Okay, we agree on something, here."

\- I - I -

I sat on the checkout counter near where Dipper was resting his head. Wendy was texting on her phone and Soos was reading a magazine, when suddenly Grunkle Stan came rushing in.

"Hey, hey!" he said "What the Jekyll is Mabel doin' in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?" he asked, angrily.

"Oh, yeah," Wendy said, looking something up on her phone; "It's like a big deal, everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight!"

"WHAT?!" Stan yelled "That little shyster is dating my great niece?!"

Soos lowered his magazine. "I wonder what the new name will be for the power-couple," Soos said; "Mabideon? Gideable?" he gasped "Magidbeleon!"

Stan threw down the newspaper in his hands and into the back.

"I didn't know," Dipper said "I didn't hear about it. And plus, I told her not to!"

"_You just completely contradicted yourself," _I thought.

Stan came back completely dressed in his suit and carried his 8-ball cane. "Yeah, well it ends tonight," he said "I'm going right down to that little skunk's house and this is gonna stop, right now!" he slammed the door shut as he left.

"Dude," Soos said, turning towards us; "Wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet and he had to come back out again and walk out the real door?"

Wendy and Dipper just stared at him.

Soos got up and opened the door. "Nope, real door."

\- l - l -

I was sitting on the table while Dipper read the journal when Mabel came back.

Dipper put down the journal. "Hey! How'd it go?" he asked.

"I don't know," Mabel sighed "I have a lobster now." she put her lobster in the fish tank.

"Well, at least it's over and you won't have to go out with him ever again," Dipper said, optimistically.

Mabel didn't respond.

"Mabel? It's over, right?" Dipper asked. "Mabel?"

Mabel turned around. "Blarg! He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no!"

Dipper stared at her. "Like this: No!"

Mabel walked over to us. "It's not that easy, Dipper," she insisted "And I do like Gideon, as a friend/little sister! I didn't want to hurt his feelings!" She sat down across from Dipper. "I just need to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends."

\- l - l -

I sat on the chair as Mabel paced around the living room, ranting.

"I mean he's so nice, but I can't keep doing this, but I can't break his heart! Arg! I have no way out!"

"What in the heck happened on that date?" Dipper asked, entering the room.

"I don't know!" Mabel said "I was in the friend zone, then before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quicksand! Jumpy quicksand!"

"Mabel, come on," Dipper said "It's not like your gonna have to marry Gideon."

"Great news, Mabel!" Grunkle Stan said, entering the living room "You have to marry Gideon!"

"What?!" Mabel screamed.

"It's all part of my long-term deal with Buddy Gleeful," he explained "There's a whole lot of cash tied up in this thing! Plus I got this shirt!" he motioned to his 'Team Gideon' shirt. "Ugh, I am fat."

Mabel ran, screaming, from th room.

"Bodies change honey," Stan called after her. "Bodies change."

"I'll go talk to her," Dipper said, then left the room.

I jumped off of the chair and followed him upstairs.

When we got to the attic, we saw that Mabel was curled up with her sweater pulled over her head.

"Oh, no," Dipper said "Mabel."

"Mabel's not here, she's in Sweatertown."

"Are you gonna come out of Sweatertown?" Dipper asked.

"Hmmm," Mabel said, shaking her head.

Dipper sighed "Alright, enough is enough, If you can't break up with Gideon, then I'll do it for you."

Mabel peeked out of her sweater. "You will?"

Dipper nodded.

"Oh thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" Mabel cried, hugging her brother.

\- l - l -

Mabel held me tightly as she waited for Dipper outside The Club. For once, I didn't mind.

"How did it go?" Mabel asked when Dipper came out. "Was he mad? Did he try to read your mind with his physic powers?"

Dipper laughed. "Don't worry, Mabel. He's just a kid, he doesn't have any powers."

\- l - l -

The next day I sat on the porch and watched as Dipper and Mabel messed around with Soos.

Soos stuffed a pillow under his shirt. "Hit me dudes!" he said and they ran at him.

They bounced off of him and laughed.

"Feels good," Soos said.

"I'm so glad everything's back to normal!" Mabel said.

The phone rang from inside.

"Your turn," they both said, though Mabel slightly before Dipper.

"Aw, man," Dipper said.

I watched him walk past me and go inside, leaving the door open.

He picked up the phone. "Hello?" I could hear his end of the conversation "Oh, hey, man. Sorry for accusing you of murder last week." he was silent for a moment "Ah, finally! I thought nobody would ever ask! I have notes and theories! Uh, huh... Uhh, huh... 412 Gopher Road... Uh, tonight? Got it!" He hung up the phone and came back outside.

\- l - l -

I sat with Mabel as she chewed on a piece of hair. I turned around when I heard the door open and saw Wendy come out.

She sat down next to Mabel. "How's that hair tasting, buddy?"

"Wendy, I need some advice," Mabel said, turning to look at her "You've broken up with guys, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Wendy said "Russ Sterum, Ely Hall, Stoney Davidson," she paused to think.

"I don't know what's wrong with me!" Mabel said "I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross."

Wendy continued her list. "Mike Whirly, Nate Holt, ugh, that guy with the tattoos..."

"Maybe letting Dipper do it for me was a mistake, Gideon deserves an honest breakup," Mabel siad

"Danny Felman, Mark Ebston," Wendy gasped "Aw, man, I'm not sure I actually broke up with him! No wonder he keeps calling me!"

Mabel stood up "I know what I gotta do. Thanks for talking to me Wendy!" she ran off, grabbed her bike and rode away.

Wendy's phone vibrated and she pulled it out. "Ignore," she said.

I looked up as I heard bike tires. Mabel was back. She jumped off, grabbed me, and put me in the basket before riding off again.

\- l - l -

When we got there, Mabel grabbed me and dropped her bike. She put me in her sweater pocket and ran to the window. when she spotted her brother, she raced towards the door.

"Gideon, we have to talk!" she said, pushing the door open.

"Mabel, mah marshmella," Gideon said, dropping the shears. "What are you doin' here?"

"I'm sorry, Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself."

Gideon stared at her. "Ah...Ah don't understand."

"Agh, uh, Mabel, this probably isn't the best time to be brutally honest with him!" Dipper said.

Mabel approached Gideon. "Hey, but we can still be make-over buddies, right? Wouldn't you like that?"

"Really?" Gideon asked.

Mabel grabbed Gideon's bolo tie. "No! Not really! You were like attacking my brother! What the heck?!" She threw Gideon's tie to Dipper.

"Ha! Not so powerful without this, are you?" he taunted.

Gideon lunged at Dipper, pushing him out the window.

"Dipper!" Mabel cried, running towards the window. She grabbed Gideon's tie and used it to save both Gideon and her brother.

Personally, I would have let Gideon fall.

She floated down and landed on the ground. "Listen, Gideon," she said "It's over. I will never, ever date you."

"Yeah!" Dipper agreed.

Mabel let both of them drop, then smashed the tie.

"My powers!" Gideon cried "Oh, this isn't over," he insisted, backing up "This isn't the last you'll see of widdle...ol'...me."

\- l - l -

We sat on the chair and watched TV until Stan came home. He past us and hung a clown painting on the wall.

He sighed. "I coulda had it all. What the heck happened to you two?" he asked

The twins looked at each other.

"Gideon," Mabel said.

"Gideon," Dipper agreed.

"Gideon," Grunkle Stan said, narrowing his eyes. "Yeah, the little mutant swore vengeance on the whole family," he laughed "I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles, or something."

"Oh yeah," Dipper agreed "Yeah, how's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of? he laughed.

Mabel smiled. "He'll never guess what number _I'm _thinking of! Negative eight! No one would guess a negative number!"

Grunkle Stan laughed. "Ooh, look out! he's plannin' our destruction right now!"

\- l - l -

I watched as Mabel bezazled Soos's whole body.

"You done?" he asked.

Mabel shook her head. "Not yet."

"How bout now?"

"Almost...And... there!"

Soos turned around. "Let's do this."

Mabel turned off the lights and Dipper turned on his flashlight.

Soos began spinning and the light reflected off the gems all over the room.

Grunkle Stan came into the room and stared. "You're all fired." he said.


End file.
